Monday, March 31, 2014

If this is the worst part of my day, I'm doing pretty good.

Things that made me angsty today (100% professor-induced):

  • Professor #1 has no concept of time management and wasted 90 minutes of my time. In 90 minutes, I could have finished two assignments.  Instead, I tried in vain to focus on some reading while all the things happened around me.  I finished four pages.
  • Professor #2 sent an email postponing tomorrow's class start time, but did not say when class would actually start.  We'll start "when this other thing finishes."  Okay...but what time is that other thing supposed to finish?  Just tell me where I need to be and when!
Things that made me super happy today (100% non-professor-related):
  • I woke up with my husband and my kitten snuggled in my bed.
  • I spent a few delightful, laugh-filled minutes this morning with some delightful, laugh-inducing friends.  Shout out to Marshall, who is always best when he is Nearshall and not Farshall, and who gives stupendous hugs, and who is just a really, really great member of the Face Club: a club for people who like each other's faces.
  • It was sunny and almost warm when I walked home from the theatre this afternoon.
  • I had a super tasty grilled cheese sandwich for lunch.
  • And then I had a delicious orange.
  • And then I had some perfectly wonderful honeycrisp apple juice.
  • And then I had some Monticello apple cider.
  • And then I had a salted caramel cupcake.
  • And then I had leftover chicken soup, which was so homey and wonderful.
  • (Anaphora!)
  • I had a really productive afternoon.
  • I took a dreamy bath this evening.
So, all in all, I had a pretty dang great day.

Friday, March 28, 2014


I've felt incredibly lucky and fulfilled ever since I moved to Staunton.  I love what I do, but more importantly, I absolutely adore the people surrounding me.

Tonight I saw Servant of Two Masters at the ASC with my hilarious and intelligent friend Aubrey, and then went to our local watering hole to watch some important sportsing with the very dear Meredith and the incomparable Jordan. 

Our class right now is basically a troupe of the walking wounded: we have a broken leg, a broken wrist, several people battling mental disorders of varying degrees of severity, and a couple of people moving through the stages of grief.  We are a broken and beleaguered bunch, but I am beside myself with bliss.  My friends are incredible, talented, smart, and most of all, kind folks.  There's not much else to say; I just feel really damn lucky.

Last June, before I moved here, Tim and I were driving somewhere, and I said (apropos of nothing, as I am wont to do) "I can't wait to meet my new friends."  Girl, if you only knew then, you would have moved here six weeks earlier.

Shout out to the people who are making my days so bright: Marshall and Merlyn, Aubrey and Patrick, Meredith, Jordan, Kendra, Adrienne, Ian, Ziegs, Jamie, Lia, and Megan.

Just happy.  Happy, happy, happy.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Ruminations and resolutions.

I'm irritated with a friend of mine.  I believe that she and another person unnecessarily concealed some information from me, instead of addressing it like the adults we pretend to be.  The point is that I'm frustrated with her.

Now, every time either of these girls show up in my facebook feed, or if I get a text or email from one of them, I greet it with an annoyed muttering of "whore" or "bitch" or similar under my breath.

Regardless of my immediate feelings about these women, I love and respect my friend.  She is a strong, independent, passionate young lady who is going to do great things.  She is neither a whore nor a bitch.  So why can't I express my feelings in a more constructive manner?  When did I become part of the self-perpetuating cycle of female-on-female abuse?  What's the point of calling her a name?  How is that reaction any better than what she did in the first place?  How does my pejorative ejaculation help me feel better or resolve the situation?  (Erotema.)

This state of affairs reminds me of a horrifyingly embarrassing moment in my undergrad years, where I said some reading was "crap" in the middle of class.  My professor (who I deeply respect and desperately wanted to impress) called me out on it--that's not a word a college student needs to use to express herself.  It's fine to dislike the reading, but only if one can engage with it and articulate what about it was problematic.  I haven't stopped calling things crap, but you can bet that I absolutely consider before using the word.  These days, I use it mostly to refer to the flotsam littering the flat surfaces of my apartment, or to describe how I'm feeling if I'm under the weather.

I'm 28, and I spend a lot of time claiming to be an adult and bemoaning the fact that I'm surrounded by 22-24 year olds who act their age.  But if I'm still calling women bitches and whores, women I love and respect, I'm no better than the highly dramatic girls around me, and I'm certainly no better than I was at 19.  It's time to add pointless name-calling to the list of things I want to change about myself.  It's also time to recommit to refraining from gossip and backbiting.  I've found myself sucked in too frequently lately, and it's not helping anything.  It doesn't change the situation and it doesn't make me feel better.  So what's the point?

This year, I'd like to be better about that.