Friday, May 22, 2015

Thesis, round two.

On Monday I will officially begin research for my next thesis.  One week after a successful MLitt graduation (in which I won the award for Outstanding Thesis and also had a paper accepted to an internationally-renowned conference in the fall), I'll begin a new, albeit much smaller thesis project.  The MLitt thesis is 50-80 pages; the MFA thesis is roughly 30 pages.  Cake, right?  Right.  

I've just finished my research/writing schedule, and am feeling anxious about taking on such an important task in such a short amount of time.  Because the MFA fall term starts four weeks earlier than the MLitt term, I have less time this summer than I did last summer. I keep telling myself that the MFA thesis is SO. MUCH. SMALLER. and it's not going to be an issue, but I'm staring at that begin-composition-deadline that's only seven weeks away and sort of feeling like I'll never be able to make it.

I'm trying to remember where I was at this point last year, and how it all felt insurmountable then as well (right?), but it's not helping.  There's so much to do, and so very, very little time to do it, especially if I end up taking that internship at OSF in July.  That completely negates three weeks of research/writing, thereby collapsing my timeline even further. 

I'm terrified.  My life is a mess and I'm trying to hold on to anything I can, even this thesis. Especially this thesis.  And all I want to do is go home to my husband.

Everything's going to be fine, right?  Right?