Tuesday, January 13, 2015

A rather momentous thing.

This afternoon, my thesis adviser/the director of my program told me he had been invited to write an article/essay for an anthology being published next year.  He wanted to write about an idea I'd had last spring, and asked me to co-author the piece with him.


First, I'm WILDLY flattered.  Second, I'm just tickled pink that I get to pursue this idea that I think is so fun and great, but doesn't fit into my academic trajectory in this program.

And finally, I'm irritated beyond belief that I can't share this with my friends in the program. If I announced it, they would only be snarky and belittling.  I understand that it comes from a place of jealousy, but I think it's completely fucked up that I have to choose between being publicly proud of my hard work and keeping my relationships pleasant and free from resentment and ill-will.  I wonder how much of me feeling like I need to keep my accomplishments private stems from me being a woman who's been conditioned to be seen and not heard.

If my classmates could realize that my accomplishments and hard work doesn't reflect on them in any way, doesn't diminish the hard work that they're doing, I think they'd be genuinely happy for me.  But I learned my lesson in the fall--they don't want to hear about my work, and they don't want to be happy for me.

But it doesn't matter what they think, because the smartest man I've ever met wants to co-author an article WITH ME!!!

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